Wanted: fake emails for Cook, Serve, Delicious. Submit away!

[Stuff+]

Another round of emails for you. Not all are them are from the tower but may be of some use.

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(Subject Line:) Re: Brown Water

In reply to your previous email I can now confirm that the water discolouration issue you reported has now been resolved. The underlying cause of this discolouration is still being investigated however all evidence points to a dead rat that was found in the main water feed (it has since been removed). Please confirm that the issue has now been resolved and that the water is now running clear.

M Percy
SherriSoda Tower Maintenance
Ext 0047

*Note that SherriSoda Tower does not accept any responsibility for issues that may arise from the reported issue. These included but are not limed to nausea, upset stomach, vomiting, diarrhea, outbreaks of cholera, plague, disability or death.

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(Subject Line:) Window Insurance

Do you have window insurance? Just imagine a scenario where all your windows suddenly broke due to a freak case of brick throwing. Wire me $500 and ill ensure that this doesn't happen for at least a month.

Your choice!

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(Subject Line:) Cream Pies?

Hey,

Do you do cream pies? Our boss is coming back after a long holiday and we thought we would fill his room with them. We need about 300 pies by tomorrow afternoon.

Let me know.

Edward G
Ext 5984

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(Subject Line:) have you seen mandy?

i was in yesterday eating with a friend but she has gone missing!!11 you may remember us, i was the guy that ordered three 1/2 cheeseburgers and the large milkshake, mandy was the hot redhead that ordered a salad. in the middle of her meal she said she needed to go to the bathroom but i haven't seen her since! please help!

Hugh McFlatulence
I.T. Dept.
Ext 7102

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(Subject Line:) Restroom Window

Hello

I am afraid I owe you an apology. I had to leave quite quickly yesterday via your restroom window and I'm afraid I broke the catch on it. I will happily pay for any repairs.

Mandy Philips
Ext 2873

p.s. If Hugh asks you anything about this I would appreciate you not saying anything.


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(Subject Line:) McDunlands Legal Team

Dear Sir / Madam,

My name is Walter Goldstein and I am contacting you on behalf of my client McDunalds Restaurants. It has come to my clients attention that you are selling a product known as a "McBetter Burger". My client feels that this is in breech of several copyrights and demands that you cease all marketing, production and sale of this product immediately. Failure to comply with this will result in legal action being taken against you.

Regards,

W Goldstein
McDunalds Legal Team

[chubigans]

Thanks for all the emails so far! There's still plenty of time to submit more.

[Stuff+]

Thanks for all the emails so far! There's still plenty of time to submit more.

Well in that case!... your probably sick of me by now lol

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(Subject Line:) smell gas

erm... sorry to tell you but I could smell gas yesterday while eating my lunch. i was going to say something but didn't bother as the steak was overdone... I HOPE YOU BURN DOWN!!!11

XXXX

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(Subject Line:) Film Proposal

Hello

I am a film director about to produce a "special adult entertainment" video. I am looking for a diner / restaurant set and thought perhaps we could come to some arrangement. I would require access for no longer than 3 hours however it would be at night. I can assure you that we would be discrete as possible and would clean up after ourselves. Please get back to me.

Regards,
Federiko DeGarcea

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(Subject Line:) Mr Snuggins

My cat Mr Snuggins has been missing for over 2 weeks and yesterday I was eating in your place and found his collar in the "extra chunky surprise" soup! Leave £1000 under the plant pot in room 17, floor 54 otherwise you better find yourself a good lawyer!

Jenny Fenton
Ext 5746
SherriSoda Tower Legal Team

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(Subject Line:) Old Socks

Hey all

I am collecting old socks for charity. If you have any old socks regardless of their state just hand them in the collection bin on floor 4. For that matter underwater, towels, bed sheets etc are all accepted. Dont worry about any smell or dirt, we will sort all that out.

Thank you

Eric

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(Subject Line:) Fw: Old Socks

There has been several emails going around regarding the collection of old cloths. Please note that this collection is not authorised by SherriSoda Tower and is not part of a registered charity. Investigations are ongoing as to who is collecting them and for what purpose however all evidence points to them being collected for "personal" use.

Jeanette Thulmann
Ext 9021
SherriSoda Tower Security

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[chubigans]

I just got a great spam email in my inbox that might go in the game.

"I saw u during tour through portal and became turned on? Yeah, it is truth that I liked u immediately.
Usually I am not writing or calling fellows first but some stuff happened to me when I checked up ur account.
Oh, my name is Modesta. Now tell me something about you. What's about ur free time? What could impress you? Which meal do you like?
What can prevent you to write me next day?:)
I'll be in Internet at 11 pm tomorrow. Wanna have fun!"

[dale_fan3]

(Subject line:) re: Your Mother

i cant believe what a horible person you are for saying that. so you know, i called the fbi and there looking at all you're personal informaton right now and my son who is good ay computers is doing a reverse ip lookup so he can malware all you're trojans. i hope your happuy because you will never be able to use you're computer again when hes done

helga o.

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(Subject line:) Lock your computers

Hi everyone. This is just a quick reminder that you should lock your computers when you go to the washroom. I walked by Leo's computer and somebody had changed his desktop background to something very inappropriate.

-Dennis M.

P.S. Leo, the reason I walked by was to ask why you thought it was a good idea to shut down my computer last night, even though I was clearly still working on a presentation.

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(Subject line:) Soda

Hi everyone. This is just a friendly reminder that you should not keep open soda cans near your keyboards. It looks like somebody spilled root beer all over Leo's keyboard.

-Dennis M.

P.S. Leo, if you did your job and kept the north kitchen stocked with soda, I wouldn't have to walk by your desk to get to the south one.

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(Subject line:) Delivery

Hi everyone. This is just to let you know that we had a large delivery (about 30 boxes) of office supplies. I don't have the key to the supply closet, so I left them all in Leo's cubicle.

-Dennis M.

P.S. Leo, if you put the key back where it's supposed to be, maybe we won't have trouble putting the supplies in the closet.

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(Subject line:) Looking for psychologist

Hi everyone. This is just a quick question to ask if anybody knows a good psychologist to deal with traumatizing childhood experiences. I'm asking for a friend who is too embarrassed to ask for himself, so please forward your answer to Leo H.

-Dennis M.

P.S. Leo, I assume you've had a traumatizing childhood experience because you thought it would be funny to cover my car in toilet paper last week.

[chubigans]

Got another spam email today. Gotta save this one too!

I am Natisha.
I'm 25 years old and I fond of spending nice time with my buddies.
Yeah, it always brings me delight going on parties, going to disco clubs, pubs and different other places like it. It always exciting and breathtaking in my company.
And... I'm cute! I became a winner of the most attractive chick in class competition two times.
So, if you r interesting boy and like me, want to relax and have great time together, then write me back now
Natisha

[Pete]

Haha, those are golden. It seems you're popular!

[Modesta]

Mr Chubigans, I am not knowing why u think that my message from heart is a spam? I was always hoping that u would write me but ur email never came to me. I wait all night until my head was heavy and my eyes were sore from tears. When I first see you during tour through portal I can not stop thinking of u. All I wanted was to have fun with u and be loved, but maybe it was too much to ask?

I won't bother u again...

Goodbye my love.

[chubigans]

[LostOverThere]

Mr Chubigans, I am not knowing why u think that my message from heart is a spam? I was always hoping that u would write me but ur email never came to me. I wait all night until my head was heavy and my eyes were sore from tears. When I first see you during tour through portal I can not stop thinking of u. All I wanted was to have fun with u and be loved, but maybe it was too much to ask?

I won't bother u again...

Goodbye my love.

I now have a new favourite member.

Also! That deadline is closing fast! Gotta make sure I write something soon.

[T.Hi]

SUBJECT LINE: Pencils For Sale

Are your servers having trouble writing down their orders? Are your customers mad because orders are being taken via memory only? Have I got the thing for you! A pack of PENCILS! Yes, PENCILS! For a low low price of only $1.99, you can have a TEN-PACK of PENCILS!

But that's not all! If you act now, RIGHT NOW, I'll also throw in a 25-pack of erasers for only .25 extra! Yes, 25 erasers for only .25!...But that's not all! Dial me at extension 934 and I'll also add in a PENCIL SHARPENER TOTALLY FREEEEEEEEE! That's right, call me now at extension 934 and for only $2.24, you can have a TEN-PACK of PENCILS, 25 ERASERS, and a PENCIL SHARPENER! OMG! Where else can you find such a deal as this?! So, remember, dial me at extension 934 and you can get all that for the low low price of $2.24 plus .75 S&H! Dial now, as this offer is only good for 365 days! Call now, an Operator is standing by!

Penn
Ext. 934

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SUBJECT: JOT-F Day Coming Up

Please remember that next Friday will be our first Annual 'Jeans-On-The-Floor Day'! Since "One 24-Hour-Period Without Tennis, Sandals, etc." is vastly popular nationwide, we here, at Tree Enterprises, thought it would be great to try something a little different. So remember to put on your best Granny Panties, Underoos, or whatever, cuz they'll be on display, for a good cause, my Candy Jar.

If you haven't signed up and made your $10 "donation" yet, please stop by my desk in Suite 1345 before close of business next Thursday.

Thank you,
AmyIdell
Sweet (heh-heh) 1345
Ext. 655

P.S. Remember what your mama told you and please make sure your undies is clean!
P.P.S. Do NOT wear your jeans literally on the floor! That's just a metaphor! Just wear'em low enough to show off your knickers...this means YOU, Chub, in Ste. 2903!

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SUBJECT: Questionable Question Of the Day:

"If There's No 'I' in 'Team', Is There a 'U' in 'Crew'?"

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SUBJECT LINE: Psychic Ikenreadu's Visit

We are very proud to present Psychic Ikenreadu in the 20th-floor Lounge, All Day, next Monday. If you're missing someone terribly, Psychic Ikenreadu is just the person to help, for he can get in touch with any of your family members or friends who have passed on. If you want to participate, please fill out the following questionaire and send it back to this email, by this Thursday at 3:33pm. Please also put whatever donation you wish ($5 or more please) in my Inbox, for him (because I'm the Organizer of the Event and am therefore taking his payment), for getting in touch with the deceased is hard work for which we should pay this grand master of psychictry.

YOUR NAME:
DEPARTED'S NAME, GENDER, and FULL BIRTHDAY (m/d/yy):
DATE OF DEPARTED'S DEPARTURE:
FOND MEMORIES YOU HAVE OF THE DEPARTED:
ANY NICKNAMES YOU OR THE DEPARTED CALLED EACH OTHER:
FULL INFORMATION ON ANY PETS THE DEPARTED HAD:

Thank you,
Psychic...I mean..."Alfred G."
Ste. 1234
Ext. 56

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SUBJECT LINE: Pictures!

Did you get the pix I sent you? Huh? Huh? Did'ja? Huh, did'ja? The pix! Did'ja get'em yet? Yeah, the pix! Did'ja get'em yet? If not, clicke here to go to acess'em on my hard drive where I got'em at.

CLICK HERE: novirusjustpix

Kelli
Ste. 732

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SUBJECT: Help!

Hi. You seem like a real smart guy; I kno this cuz I seen you in the hallway 1 time and you looked smart. I need your opinion on something and ONLY YOU can help me, cuz, like I said, you seem real intelligent-like.

Does this moustache make me look fat?

Stan
Ste. 2468

[Agent_milo]

(Subject Line:) wonder coffee maker 25% discound

hey you ! how are, you ?

i heared you are need electronic consumer products of famous brand i have all .in your kitchen you can make use the Wonder coffee maker , it is prove to be sipping very easy ,no

items all orginal price very much ,quality and waranty for your business use special

contact me 7009 pls

[Zargy]

Here's my first one. Tell me if you think it's too borderline adult.
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Subject line: SPATULASS ENHANCEMENT!!1!

restruant oner! does get you tire of you'r spatulass being to smalls?! well you need special SPATULASS ENHANCEMENT DRUG!!! we make will your spatulass and longer and stronger so that you may flip burgers all day long! Apply today for free samples1!

nigeria.SPATULADRUG.scam
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[Yackemflaber]

(Subject line:) Wanted

Dear Sir or Madaam,
According to our records, you are wanted by your government. Please send us an email with your name, social security number, and credit card information.

Thank you,
Gello
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(Subject line:) Have you seen my cat?

Has anyone seen my cat? He's black with a white patch on his face.
If you've seen him, ignore him immediately.
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(Subject line:) Have you seen my dog?

Has anyone seen my dog? It's a Blue Heeler who responds to the name "Rocky".
If you see him, please let me know that he's missing.

Sincerely,
Fred
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(Subject line:) Have you seen my person?

I'm a dog named Rocky and I'm pretty sure my person is missing. He responds to "Fred".
If you see him, let him know where I am.

Woof,
Rocky
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[Illari]

(Subject line:) THESE COMPUTERS ARE AMAZING!

HELLO DEAR,

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO? ARE YOU STILL WATCHING THOSE CHINESE CARTOONS, I TELL YOU, THEY ROT YOUR BRAIN! LAST WEEK I WENT TO UNIVERSAL STUDIOS WITH MY FRIEND PETUNIA, TRANSFORMERS WAS AMAZING! HOPE TO MEET YOU SOON!

TAKE CARE,

YOUR GRANDMA ELISABETH